Engagement Ceremony in Herat: A Tradition of Joy, Celebration, and Family Bonds
In the rich and ancient culture of the people of Herat, wedding ceremonies hold a special place, with each stage marked by its own customs and traditions. One of the most important and memorable parts of this process is the Engagement Ceremony (Shirini-Khori), held after the marriage contract, symbolizing joy, unity, and the beginning of a new life for the young couple.
Timing and Style of the Engagement Ceremony
In Herat, the timing and manner of holding the engagement ceremony vary based on each family’s customs. Some families hold the event right after the marriage contract, anywhere from a week to a month later, to share the joy and celebration of the marriage with their guests. Others prefer to let the Nikah ceremony alone reflect their happiness and skip a separate engagement event.
Nowadays, due to cultural and economic changes, many families have more flexibility in choosing when and how to celebrate, based on their financial situation and personal preferences.
Venue: Hall or Home – A Choice Based on Taste and Means
The engagement ceremony is usually held either in grand wedding halls or more intimately in family homes. In the past, it was commonly hosted at the bride’s father’s house. However, today, depending on the agreement between both families, sometimes the groom’s family or both sides share the expenses, and the venue varies.
Hosting the event at home offers a warmer, more intimate atmosphere, where guests gather in a cozy, friendly setting. In contrast, wedding halls provide elegant decorations and modern amenities, making the event more formal and lavish.
Colorful Dresses of the Bride and the Groom’s Attire
One of the highlights of this ceremony is the beautiful attire of the bride and groom. Unlike the Nikah ceremony, where the bride typically wears a white dress, in the engagement ceremony she wears colorful and cheerful dresses—such as blush pink, soft lilac, light blue, or pale green—symbolizing freshness and joy. These dresses are often adorned with delicate decorations, flowers, and traditional jewelry.
The groom usually wears a formal suit or, in some cases, traditional Afghan clothing that reflects cultural pride and heritage. This contrast in attire adds a unique charm to the celebration.
Customs and Rituals During the Ceremony
The ceremony begins with the entrance of the bride and groom, accompanied by soft romantic music to set a loving and elegant mood. Then the couple dances to a song of their choice—this joyful moment becomes a sweet and memorable scene for all guests.
After the dance, the ceremonial cake is cut, and the couple lovingly feeds each other fruit juice, symbolizing the sweet beginning of their shared life.
Hospitality and a Colorful Banquet
Hospitality plays a key role in Herat’s engagement ceremonies, with a rich and colorful spread for guests. Typical dishes include:
- Fragrant saffron rice
- Various chicken or lamb kebabs
- Spiced vegetables such as palak (spinach)
- Traditional desserts like fereni
- Refreshing drinks such as sodas and fresh juices
These treats, along with assorted sweets and chocolates, are served throughout the event to show appreciation and respect to the guests.
Exchange of Gifts and Presents
A beautiful tradition in this ceremony is the giving of gifts by the groom’s family to the bride. These gifts may include jewelry, clothes, cash, or traditional items that symbolize love and the bride’s welcome into the groom’s family.
Guests also bring gifts for the newlyweds, creating precious keepsakes that will forever remind them of this sweet day.
Festivities with Dance and Celebration
Throughout the event, families, friends, and loved ones create a joyful and lively atmosphere. Traditional dances, energetic music (live or recorded), and collective celebrations bring excitement and togetherness, making the ceremony a truly festive gathering.
Flower-Adorned Car Ride: A Memorable Moment
After the ceremony, the newlywed couple takes a ride through the city in beautifully decorated cars covered in flowers. This symbolizes the official start of their shared life and their introduction as a couple to society. After the ride, they return home to begin their married life.
Cultural and Social Significance of the Engagement Ceremony
The engagement ceremony is more than just a celebration. It is an opportunity to:
- Strengthen family and social bonds
- Show love and respect to relatives and friends
- Create sweet memories for the couple and their families
- Pass down culture, traditions, and values to future generations
In Herat, this event is celebrated with full enthusiasm, reflecting the beauty of tradition, family affection, and collective joy.